{"id":1421,"date":"2014-12-30T00:33:51","date_gmt":"2014-12-29T22:33:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1421"},"modified":"2014-12-30T00:33:51","modified_gmt":"2014-12-29T22:33:51","slug":"ways-to-drive-the-man-in-your-life-crazy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1421","title":{"rendered":"Ways to Drive the Man in Your Life Crazy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><UL><br \/>\n<LI>Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. (Hide them well.)<\/LI><\/p>\n<li>Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place.<\/li>\n<li>Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a steady diet of Ring Dings.<\/li>\n<li>Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently suggest that he&#8217;s gained a few pounds.<\/li>\n<li>Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother&#8217;s side.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Accidentally&#8221; fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with diesel.<\/li>\n<li>Repeatedly misplace the cordless phone, preferably in a different room each time.<\/li>\n<li>Repeatedly lose his cellular phone in restaurants around town.<\/li>\n<li>Loan his precious cellular phone to a pregnant girlfriend who &#8220;needs it more than he does.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Insist upon a lot of &#8220;meaningful conversations.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>If you live together, have your mother fly in for a month-long visit unannounced.<\/li>\n<li>Reverse his contact lenses in their case.<\/li>\n<li>Snip a small hole in his fishing waders, then follow him with a camera to capture his &#8220;sinking&#8221; on film.<\/li>\n<li>Superglue the pages of his Little Black Book together.<\/li>\n<li>Give the secret stash of dirty magazines that he thinks you don&#8217;t know about to his younger brother, who he hates.<\/li>\n<li>Put a gummy worm in his workboots. If he finds the sticky mess at the end of the day, blame it on the cat.<\/li>\n<li>Slip outside while he is engrossed in his sports and let the air out of one tire. Repeat, never deflating the same tire twice in a row. Try hard not to snicker when he takes the car in for new tires.<\/li>\n<li>If you really feel adventurous, put a small rock in his hubcap. Stand back and watch the fun. This one is even better if you have kids in the neighborhood to take the blame.<\/li>\n<li>Along the same lines, remove his gas cap.<\/li>\n<p><\/UL><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. (Hide them well.) Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place. Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a steady diet of Ring Dings. Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently suggest that he&#8217;s gained a few pounds. Stare [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[621,924,991],"class_list":["post-1421","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-women","tag-fantasy","tag-lists","tag-men"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1421","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1421"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1421\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1421"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1421"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1421"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}