{"id":1401,"date":"2014-12-29T23:53:28","date_gmt":"2014-12-29T21:53:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1401"},"modified":"2014-12-29T23:53:28","modified_gmt":"2014-12-29T21:53:28","slug":"recent-personal-ads","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1401","title":{"rendered":"Recent Personal Ads"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><UL><\/p>\n<p><li>SWM &#8211; Single White Male &#8211; looking for SWF &#8211; Object &#8212; walks, good conversation,<br \/>\ncultural outings and wearing each others&#8217; behinds as hats. Please, no kooks. Box 7464.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>You, at the cafeteria dessert bar slipping a couple creme caramels into your brassiere; me, at the buffet table, nonchalantly tossing a few croutons in the air and catching them in my mouth just to get your attention, followed by grapes, Swedish meatballs, and a leg of lamb. When I came to, you were gone. Call me. I think there was something special there. Box 9867.<\/li>\n<li>Drop Dead Gorgeous redhead, Christy, wants to meet man with large wallet. Object &#8212; him dropping dead. Sincere. Box 4942. Ask for Hank.<\/li>\n<li>SWMSTOSOG &#8211; Single White Male Siamese Twins, One Straight One Gay desperately seeking SWFSTOSOWTUGR &#8211; Single White Female Siamese Twins, One Straight One Willing To Undergo Gender Reallocation. Straight one must be on my right, her left &#8212; or willing to stand on head. Must be Baptist. Box 3755.<\/li>\n<li>SWMWH &#8211; Single White Male With Hump &#8211; also huge hairy warts, mismatched legs, crab-like walk, oozing sores and speech impimbimimnt, Republican, looking for SWS &#8211; Single White Supermodel &#8211; must be staunch NRA supporter. Object &#8212; just maybe parent future president of U.S. of A. Leave partics along with recent photo at foot of bell tower. No freaks.<\/li>\n<p><\/UL><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>SWM &#8211; Single White Male &#8211; looking for SWF &#8211; Object &#8212; walks, good conversation, cultural outings and wearing each others&#8217; behinds as hats. Please, no kooks. Box 7464. You, at the cafeteria dessert bar slipping a couple creme caramels into your brassiere; me, at the buffet table, nonchalantly tossing a few croutons in the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[924,1150],"class_list":["post-1401","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-lists","tag-personal-ads"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1401","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1401"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1401\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1401"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1401"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1401"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}