{"id":1379,"date":"2014-12-28T19:40:19","date_gmt":"2014-12-28T17:40:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1379"},"modified":"2014-12-28T19:40:19","modified_gmt":"2014-12-28T17:40:19","slug":"why-arent-you-married-yet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1379","title":{"rendered":"Why Aren&#8217;t You Married Yet?"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>You haven&#8217;t asked yet.<\/li>\n<li>I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.<\/li>\n<li>What?  And spoil my great sex life?<\/li>\n<li>Nobody would believe me wearing white.<\/li>\n<li>Just lucky, I guess.<\/li>\n<li>It gives my mother something to live for.<\/li>\n<li>My fiancee is awaiting his\/her parole.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m still hoping for a shot at Miss\/Mr. America.<\/li>\n<li>Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m waiting until I get to be your age.<\/li>\n<li>It didn&#8217;t seem worth a blood test.<\/li>\n<li>I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.<\/li>\n<li>Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.<\/li>\n<li>They just opened a great singles bar on my block.<\/li>\n<li>I wouldn&#8217;t want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.<\/li>\n<li>I guess it just goes to prove that you can&#8217;t trust those voodoo doll rituals.<\/li>\n<li>What? And lose all the money I&#8217;ve invested in running personal ads?<\/li>\n<li>We really want to, but my lover&#8217;s spouse just won&#8217;t go for it.<\/li>\n<li>I don&#8217;t want to have to support another person on my paycheck.<\/li>\n<li>Why aren&#8217;t you thin?<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.<\/li>\n<li>(Bonus reply for single mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You haven&#8217;t asked yet. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life. What? And spoil my great sex life? Nobody would believe me wearing white. Just lucky, I guess. It gives my mother something to live for. My fiancee is awaiting his\/her parole. I&#8217;m still hoping for a shot at Miss\/Mr. America. Do [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[924,1322,1481],"class_list":["post-1379","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-lists","tag-single","tag-unmarried"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1379","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1379"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1379\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1379"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1379"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1379"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}