{"id":1375,"date":"2014-12-28T18:32:17","date_gmt":"2014-12-28T16:32:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1375"},"modified":"2014-12-28T18:32:17","modified_gmt":"2014-12-28T16:32:17","slug":"harsh-things-to-say-to-a-naked-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1375","title":{"rendered":"Harsh Things to Say to a Naked Man"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>I&#8217;ve smoked fatter joints than that.<\/li>\n<li>Ahhhh, it&#8217;s cute.<\/li>\n<li>Why don&#8217;t we just cuddle?<\/li>\n<li>You know they have surgery to fix that.<\/li>\n<li>Make it dance.<\/li>\n<li>Can I paint a smiley face on it?<\/li>\n<li>Wow, and your feet are so big.<\/li>\n<li>Will it squeak if I squeeze it?<\/li>\n<li>Oh no&#8230; a flash headache.<\/li>\n<li>(giggle and point)<\/li>\n<li>Can I be honest with you?<\/li>\n<li>How sweet, you brought incense.<\/li>\n<li>This explains your car.<\/li>\n<li>Maybe if we water it, it&#8217;ll grow.<\/li>\n<li>Why is God punishing me?<\/li>\n<li>At least this won&#8217;t take long.<\/li>\n<li>I never saw one like that before.<\/li>\n<li>But it still works, right?<\/li>\n<li>It looks so unused.<\/li>\n<li>Maybe it looks better in natural light.<\/li>\n<li>Why don&#8217;t we skip right to the cigarettes?<\/li>\n<li>Are you cold?<\/li>\n<li>If you get me real drunk first.<\/li>\n<li>Is that an optical illusion?<\/li>\n<li>What is that?<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s a good thing you have so many other talents.<\/li>\n<li>Does it come with an air pump?<\/li>\n<li>So this is why you&#8217;re supposed to judge people on personality.<\/li>\n<li>I guess this makes me the &#8216;early bird&#8217;.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve smoked fatter joints than that. Ahhhh, it&#8217;s cute. Why don&#8217;t we just cuddle? You know they have surgery to fix that. Make it dance. Can I paint a smiley face on it? Wow, and your feet are so big. Will it squeak if I squeeze it? Oh no&#8230; a flash headache. (giggle and point) [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[768,924,1052],"class_list":["post-1375","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-women","tag-harsh","tag-lists","tag-naked-men"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1375","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1375"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1375\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}