{"id":1364,"date":"2014-12-28T18:15:20","date_gmt":"2014-12-28T16:15:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1364"},"modified":"2014-12-28T18:15:20","modified_gmt":"2014-12-28T16:15:20","slug":"men-versus-women-round-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1364","title":{"rendered":"Men Versus Women, Round 2"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><UL><\/p>\n<p><li>Why do men become smarter during sex?<br \/>\n(because they are plugged into a genius)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why don&#8217;t women blink during foreplay?<br \/>\n(they don&#8217;t have enough time)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?<br \/>\n(they don&#8217;t stop for directions)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why did God put men on earth?<br \/>\n(because a vibrator can&#8217;t mow the lawn)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why don&#8217;t women have men&#8217;s brains?<br \/>\n(because they don&#8217;t have penises to put them in)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What do electri trains and breasts have in common?<br \/>\n(they&#8217;re intended for children but men usually end up playing with them)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?<br \/>\n(because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why do men masturbate?<br \/>\n(it is sex with someone they love)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why were men given larger brains than dogs?<br \/>\n(so they won&#8217;t hump women&#8217;s legs at cocktail parties)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why did God make men before women?<br \/>\n(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why is a man&#8217;s pee yellow and his sperm white?<br \/>\n(so he can tell if he&#8217;s coming or going)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>How many men does it take to put a toilet seat down?<br \/>\n(nobody knows, since it has never happened)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Arguments: A woman has the last word in any argument.<br \/>\n(Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><\/UL><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why do men become smarter during sex? (because they are plugged into a genius) Why don&#8217;t women blink during foreplay? (they don&#8217;t have enough time) Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? (they don&#8217;t stop for directions) Why did God put men on earth? (because a vibrator can&#8217;t mow the lawn) [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[924,992],"class_list":["post-1364","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-lists","tag-men-vs-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1364","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1364"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1364\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}