{"id":1359,"date":"2014-12-28T18:10:56","date_gmt":"2014-12-28T16:10:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1359"},"modified":"2014-12-28T18:10:56","modified_gmt":"2014-12-28T16:10:56","slug":"phrases-men-wish-their-women-would-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1359","title":{"rendered":"Phrases Men Wish Their Women Would Say"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Of course I&#8217;ll swallow it all&#8230;I love the taste!<\/li>\n<li>Are you sure you&#8217;ve had enough to drink?<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m bored&#8230;let&#8217;s shave my pussy.<\/li>\n<li>Shouldn&#8217;t you be down at the bar with your buddies?<\/li>\n<li>That was a GREAT fart!  Do another!<\/li>\n<li>I have decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re so sexy when you are hung over!<\/li>\n<li>I would rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.<\/li>\n<li>Let&#8217;s subscribe to Hustler.<\/li>\n<li>Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?<\/li>\n<li>Say, let&#8217;s go down to the mall so that you can check out women&#8217;s asses!<\/li>\n<li>I will be out painting the house.<\/li>\n<li>I love it when you play golf on Sundays, I just wish you had time to play on Saturdays, too.<\/li>\n<li>Honey?  Our new neighbor&#8217;s daughter is sunbathing again&#8230;come see!<\/li>\n<li>I know it&#8217;s tighter back there, but will you PLEASE try again?<\/li>\n<li>No, no&#8230;I&#8217;ll take the car in for an oil change.<\/li>\n<li>Your mother is way better than mine!<\/li>\n<li>Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine&#8217;s Day thing and buy yourself some new golf clubs!<\/li>\n<li>I understand fully; our anniversary comes every year, for Christ&#8217;s sake! You go hunting with the guys. It&#8217;s a great stress reliever!<\/li>\n<li>What do you say we get a good porno movie, a 6-pack of Bud, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome?<\/li>\n<li>No, not the fucking mall again! Let&#8217;s try that new tittie bar instead!<\/li>\n<li>Listen&#8230;I make enough money for us both. Why don&#8217;t you retire and get that nagging handicap down to a 7 or 8?<\/li>\n<li>Honey, you need your sleep&#8230;stop getting up for night feedings!<\/li>\n<li>God, if I don&#8217;t get to blow you soon, I swear I am going to bust!<\/li>\n<li>I signed up for yoga classes so that I can get my ankles behind my head for you.<\/li>\n<li>Let&#8217;s just skip the foreplay and romance, and get right down to fucking!<\/li>\n<li>I am on my period, so why don&#8217;t you let me blow you? Better yet, go ahead and screw the secretary!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Of course I&#8217;ll swallow it all&#8230;I love the taste! Are you sure you&#8217;ve had enough to drink? I&#8217;m bored&#8230;let&#8217;s shave my pussy. Shouldn&#8217;t you be down at the bar with your buddies? That was a GREAT fart! Do another! I have decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. You&#8217;re so sexy when you are [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[621,924,1162,1536],"class_list":["post-1359","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-men","tag-fantasy","tag-lists","tag-phrases","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1359","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1359"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1359\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1359"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1359"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1359"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}