{"id":1357,"date":"2014-12-28T18:07:28","date_gmt":"2014-12-28T16:07:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1357"},"modified":"2014-12-28T18:07:28","modified_gmt":"2014-12-28T16:07:28","slug":"signs-you-might-be-experiencing-menopause","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1357","title":{"rendered":"Signs You Might Be Experiencing Menopause"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>Hot Flashes<br \/>\nYou sell your home heating system at a yard sale.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Night Sweats<br \/>\nThe person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mood Swings<br \/>\nYour husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Memory Loss<br \/>\nYou write post-it notes with your kid&#8217;s names on them.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Irritability<br \/>\nYour husband chirps, &#8220;Hi honey, I&#8217;m home,&#8221; and your reply is, &#8220;Well, if it isn&#8217;t Ozzie f**king Nelson.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Sleeplessness<br \/>\nThe phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven&#8217;s Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Fatigue<br \/>\nYou find Guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mild Incontinence<br \/>\nYou change your underwear after every sneeze.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Sudden Weight Gain<br \/>\nYou need the &#8216;Jaws Of Life&#8217; to help you out of your car after returning home from an Italian restaurant.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Dryness<br \/>\nYou ask Jiffy Lube to put you up on a hoist.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Female Hormone Deficiency<br \/>\nYou take a sudden interest in&#8221;Wrestlemania&#8221;.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Hormone Therapy<br \/>\nYou&#8217;re on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hot Flashes You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. Night Sweats The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed. Mood Swings Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[924,993,1536],"class_list":["post-1357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-women","tag-lists","tag-menopause","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1357","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1357"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1357\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1357"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1357"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1357"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}