{"id":1345,"date":"2014-12-28T17:43:53","date_gmt":"2014-12-28T15:43:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1345"},"modified":"2014-12-28T17:43:53","modified_gmt":"2014-12-28T15:43:53","slug":"seven-ages-of-the-married-cold","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1345","title":{"rendered":"Seven Ages of the Married Cold"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>1st year<br \/>\nThe husband says, &#8220;Oh, sweetie pie, I&#8217;m really worried about those nasty sniffles you have! There&#8217;s no telling what that could turn into with all the strep that&#8217;s been going around. I&#8217;m going to take you right down to the hospital and have you admitted for a couple days of rest. I know the food is lousy there, so I&#8217;m going to bring you some takeout from Tosini&#8217;s. I&#8217;ve already arranged it with the head nurse.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>2nd year<br \/>\n&#8220;Listen, honey, I don&#8217;t like the sound of that cough. I called the doc and he&#8217;s going to stop by here and take a look at you. Why don&#8217;t you just go on to bed and get the rest you need?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>3rd year<br \/>\n&#8220;Maybe you better go lie down, darling. When you feel lousy you need the rest. I&#8217;ll bring you something&#8211;do we have any canned soup around here?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>4th year<br \/>\n&#8220;No sense wearing yourself out when you&#8217;re under the weather. When you finish those dishes and the kids&#8217; baths and get them to bed, you ought to go to bed yourself!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>5th year<br \/>\n&#8220;Why don&#8217;t you take a couple aspirin?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>6th year<br \/>\n&#8220;You oughta go gargle or something, instead of sitting around barking like a dog!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>7th year<br \/>\n&#8220;For Pete&#8217;s sake, stop sneezing. Are you trying to give me pneumonia? You&#8217;d better pick up some tissues while you&#8217;re at the store.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>1st year The husband says, &#8220;Oh, sweetie pie, I&#8217;m really worried about those nasty sniffles you have! There&#8217;s no telling what that could turn into with all the strep that&#8217;s been going around. I&#8217;m going to take you right down to the hospital and have you admitted for a couple days of rest. I know [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[392,965],"class_list":["post-1345","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-cold","tag-marriage"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1345","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1345"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1345\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1345"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1345"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1345"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}