{"id":1343,"date":"2014-12-28T17:41:09","date_gmt":"2014-12-28T15:41:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1343"},"modified":"2014-12-28T17:41:09","modified_gmt":"2014-12-28T15:41:09","slug":"the-secret-to-making-a-marriage-last","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1343","title":{"rendered":"The Secret to Making a Marriage Last"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><P>My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.<\/P><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.<\/li>\n<li>We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in NY.<\/li>\n<li>I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.<\/li>\n<p><li>I asked my wife, &#8220;Where do you want to go for our anniversary?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Somewhere I haven&#8217;t been in a long time!&#8221;<br \/>\nSo I suggested, &#8220;How about the kitchen?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.<\/li>\n<li>She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said &#8220;There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!&#8221; So I bought her an electric chair.<\/li>\n<li>My wife told me the car wasn&#8217;t running well, there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me &#8220;In the lake.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn&#8217;t lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!<\/li>\n<li>She had a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, &#8220;Am I too late for the garbage?&#8221; The driver said, &#8220;No, jump in!&#8221;<\/li>\n<p><\/UL><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in NY. I take my wife everywhere, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[965,1303],"class_list":["post-1343","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-marriage","tag-secrets"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1343","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1343"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1343\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}