{"id":134,"date":"2014-12-21T13:46:08","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T11:46:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=134"},"modified":"2014-12-21T13:46:08","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T11:46:08","slug":"the-merger-of-aol-and-time-warner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=134","title":{"rendered":"The Merger of AOL and Time Warner"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><P>Due to the recent merger of AOL and Time Warner, AOL members can soon expect the following changes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<p><li>Time Magazine&#8217;s next &#8220;Man Of The Year&#8221; issue will feature Steve Case on the cover as the undisputed winner.  This of course<br \/>\nwill strictly be a coincidence.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>The standard irritating AOL popups will be replaced by Warner Bros. cartoons. Now, Elmer Fudd will say, &#8220;You cwazy wabbit, you&#8217;ve been onwine for 5 minutes and that&#8217;s way-y-y too long&#8230; we&#8217;re going to boot you off!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>When you try to access a web site that AOL blocks because they know that you are too stupid to think for yourself, Tweety Bird will say,  &#8220;I tawt I taw a Puddy&#8230;  I did, I did see a Puddy&#8230;  ACCESS IS DENIED!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>The next time that you hear Bugs Bunny say, &#8220;Eh, what&#8217;s up Doc?&#8221; he will be referring to your monthly AOL subscription charge.<\/li>\n<li>Now that AOL owns everything, there is no one left for them to sell your private and personal information to.  Therefore, they will now use that information to obtain a mandatory AOL Visa card in your name and make purchases on your behalf and bill you whatever they want whether you like it or not.<\/li>\n<li>Now, when you turn off your TV set, AOL will automatically download television programs without your permission and delete the channels of competitors that they don&#8217;t want you to watch.  Of course the next logical step will be popup ads on the screen while you&#8217;re trying to watch your favorite show, and the inevitable outcome will be&#8230;  &#8220;You&#8217;ve been watching  TV for too long, your connection has been terminated&#8221;&#8230;  CLICK!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Due to the recent merger of AOL and Time Warner, AOL members can soon expect the following changes: Time Magazine&#8217;s next &#8220;Man Of The Year&#8221; issue will feature Steve Case on the cover as the undisputed winner. This of course will strictly be a coincidence. The standard irritating AOL popups will be replaced by Warner [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,61],"tags":[145,406,924],"class_list":["post-134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aol","category-the-business-world","tag-aol","tag-computer","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=134"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=134"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=134"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=134"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}