{"id":1336,"date":"2014-12-28T02:01:06","date_gmt":"2014-12-28T00:01:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1336"},"modified":"2014-12-28T02:01:06","modified_gmt":"2014-12-28T00:01:06","slug":"precepts-of-the-manly-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1336","title":{"rendered":"Precepts of the Manly Man"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location<\/li>\n<li>Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing.<\/li>\n<li>When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better chance of getting an immediate response.<\/li>\n<li>When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a commercial do not hassle me that they are over to change the channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I skipped it.<\/li>\n<li>If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is half the chore and I am not free to return to the couch.<\/li>\n<li>If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do something it is not necessary for you to call his wife\/girlfriend to discuss it.<\/li>\n<li>If you don&#8217;t like the way I am driving close your eyes. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making that reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven&#8217;t hit anything yet and if I do it will be your fault.<\/li>\n<li>I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.<\/li>\n<li>Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten minutes to matter what the occasion is. After all, I am getting dressed, not getting ready.<\/li>\n<p><li>Don&#8217;t ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a certain accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no win situation and would rather just<br \/>\nwait for you to get dressed while watching TV.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you should leave the seat up when you are finished. It&#8217;s only fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing the bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a brain of its own.<\/li>\n<li>I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ.<\/li>\n<p><li>Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd<br \/>\nbackground noise to me. I am not ignoring you.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing. When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[924,956,1188],"class_list":["post-1336","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-men","tag-lists","tag-manly-man","tag-precepts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1336","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1336"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1336\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}