{"id":1332,"date":"2014-12-28T01:56:02","date_gmt":"2014-12-27T23:56:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1332"},"modified":"2014-12-28T01:56:02","modified_gmt":"2014-12-27T23:56:02","slug":"the-right-and-wrong-way-to-ask-a-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1332","title":{"rendered":"The Right And Wrong Way to Ask A Man"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>Do say: would you please take out the garbage?<br \/>\nDo not say: could you get off your big butt and do something around here?  What am I, the maid?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Do say: would you like to go out to a nice dinner Saturday night?<br \/>\nDo not say: could you please take me to any restaurant that doesn&#8217;t have the words &#8220;burger&#8221;, &#8220;king&#8221;, or &#8220;happy meal&#8221; in their advertising??<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Do say: would you mind watching the kids while I take a night off with my girlfriends?<br \/>\nDo not say: could you, just for one night, watch the kids you helped spawn-that I never get a break from-ever! I haven&#8217;t seen my friends in so long we wear name tags to identify ourselves.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Do say: would you take me to a movie this week?<br \/>\nDo not say: could you prove to me you&#8217;re not Velcroed to the couch and actually have the motor skills to take me to a motion picture? Something without Pamela Anderson in it.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Do say: would you like me to listen to you talk about your day some more?<br \/>\nDo not say: could you step up the filibuster, Sparky? Jeopardy is on in ten minutes.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Do say: would you like to take a vacation?<br \/>\nDo not say: could you move out?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Do say: would you get out of my life?<br \/>\nDo not say: could you get out of my life?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Notice how different these two statements are.<br \/>\nA man is much more likely to get out of your life if you say &#8220;would&#8221;.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do say: would you please take out the garbage? Do not say: could you get off your big butt and do something around here? What am I, the maid? Do say: would you like to go out to a nice dinner Saturday night? Do not say: could you please take me to any restaurant that [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[780,924,991],"class_list":["post-1332","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-men","tag-help","tag-lists","tag-men"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1332","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1332"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1332\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}