{"id":1320,"date":"2014-12-28T01:35:27","date_gmt":"2014-12-27T23:35:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1320"},"modified":"2014-12-28T01:35:27","modified_gmt":"2014-12-27T23:35:27","slug":"pure-female-bashing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1320","title":{"rendered":"Pure Female Bashing"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>How many men does it take to open a beer?<br \/>\nNone. It should be opened by the time she brings it.<\/LI><\/p>\n<p><li>Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?<br \/>\nBecause a woman who can&#8217;t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why do women have smaller feet then men?<br \/>\nSo they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?<br \/>\nWhen she starts her sentence, &#8220;A man once told me &#8230;&#8221;.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>How do you fix a woman&#8217;s watch?<br \/>\nYou don&#8217;t. There is a clock on the oven.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why do men pass gas more then women?<br \/>\nBecause women won&#8217;t shut up long enough to build up pressure.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?<br \/>\nThe dog of course. At least he&#8217;ll shut up after you let him in.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.<\/li>\n<p><li>What&#8217;s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?<br \/>\nA woman that won&#8217;t do what she&#8217;s told.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>I married Miss Right. I just didn&#8217;t know her first name was Always.<\/li>\n<li>I haven&#8217;t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don&#8217;t like to interrupt her.<\/li>\n<p><li>What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?<br \/>\nDivorced.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.<\/li>\n<li>Scientists have discovered a food to diminish a woman&#8217;s sex drive by 90%. It is Wedding Cake.<\/li>\n<li>Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.<\/li>\n<p><li>Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me, &#8220;What&#8217;s on the TV&#8221;.<br \/>\nI said, &#8220;Dust&#8221;.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.<br \/>\nThen God created Man and rested.<br \/>\nThen God created Woman.<br \/>\nSince then, neither God nor Man has rested.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why do men die before their wives?<br \/>\nThey want to.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><\/UL><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can&#8217;t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Why do women have [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[204,1536],"class_list":["post-1320","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-men","tag-bashing","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1320","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1320"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1320\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1320"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1320"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1320"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}