{"id":1316,"date":"2014-12-28T01:23:20","date_gmt":"2014-12-27T23:23:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1316"},"modified":"2014-12-28T01:23:20","modified_gmt":"2014-12-27T23:23:20","slug":"pure-male-bashing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1316","title":{"rendered":"Pure Male Bashing"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?<br \/>\nClose the door<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>When do you care for a man&#8217;s company?<br \/>\nWhen he owns it.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?<br \/>\nThree, if you slice them very thinly.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why do men get married??<br \/>\nSo they don&#8217;t have to hold their stomachs in any more<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What are a woman&#8217;s four favorite animals?<br \/>\nA mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and<br \/>\nan ass to pay for it all.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?<br \/>\nHis hand caught fire.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>How do you get a man to do sit-ups?<br \/>\nPut the remote control between his toes.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What did God say after creating man?<br \/>\nI must be able to do better than that.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What did God say after she made Eve?<br \/>\n&#8220;Practice makes perfect.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Husband: Want a quickie?<br \/>\nWife: As opposed to what?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>How does a man take a bubble bath?<br \/>\nHe eats beans for dinner.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?<br \/>\nThey&#8217;re married.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?<br \/>\nSo they can find their way back to the house.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why are married women heavier than single women?<br \/>\nSingle women come home, see what&#8217;s in the fridge and go to bed.<br \/>\nMarried women come home, see what&#8217;s in bed and go to the fridge.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>Behind every great woman is a man telling her she&#8217;s ignoring him.<\/li>\n<li>He keeps a record of everything he eats. It&#8217;s called a tie.<\/li>\n<p><li>What&#8217;s the quickest way to lose 180 lbs. of ugly fat?<br \/>\nDivorce your husband.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower<br \/>\nA widower<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?<br \/>\nA widow.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why do blonde women have bruises around their navels?<br \/>\nBlonde men aren&#8217;t that clever either.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Why did Moses wander the desert for 40 years?<br \/>\nHe wouldn&#8217;t ask for directions.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? Close the door When do you care for a man&#8217;s company? When he owns it. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom? Three, if you slice them very thinly. Why do men get married?? So they don&#8217;t have to hold their stomachs in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[204,991],"class_list":["post-1316","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-women","tag-bashing","tag-men"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1316","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1316"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1316\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1316"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1316"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1316"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}