{"id":1312,"date":"2014-12-28T01:16:54","date_gmt":"2014-12-27T23:16:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1312"},"modified":"2014-12-28T01:16:54","modified_gmt":"2014-12-27T23:16:54","slug":"its-over-when","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1312","title":{"rendered":"It&#8217;s Over When &#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>She puts your dinner on the floor in the dog&#8217;s dish.<\/li>\n<li>The milkman is wearing your bathrobe.<\/li>\n<li>You get a ticket for the Jerry Springer Show.<\/li>\n<li>She starts every sentence with the words &#8230;&#8221;To whom it may concern.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Your mail comes addressed to &#8220;Current Resident.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>The local mortician starts measuring you for a new suit.<\/li>\n<li>Her mother looks at you and starts laughing.<\/li>\n<li>You are urged to stir your coffee &#8220;very well,&#8221; before drinking it.<\/li>\n<li>Your favorite easy chair is plugged into the wall outlet.<\/li>\n<li>All of your shirts have a target painted on them.<\/li>\n<li>People are referring to her as the &#8220;widow.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You come home and all that is left of the house is the foundation.<\/li>\n<li>Your name is Fred and a new tattoo just below her navel reads &#8230; &#8220;Joe&#8217;s Place.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>She puts your dinner on the floor in the dog&#8217;s dish. The milkman is wearing your bathrobe. You get a ticket for the Jerry Springer Show. She starts every sentence with the words &#8230;&#8221;To whom it may concern.&#8221; Your mail comes addressed to &#8220;Current Resident.&#8221; The local mortician starts measuring you for a new suit. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[275,924],"class_list":["post-1312","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-breakup","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1312","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1312"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1312\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1312"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1312"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1312"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}