{"id":1304,"date":"2014-12-28T01:01:33","date_gmt":"2014-12-27T23:01:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1304"},"modified":"2014-12-28T01:01:33","modified_gmt":"2014-12-27T23:01:33","slug":"if-you-love-somebody","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1304","title":{"rendered":"If You Love Somebody&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I always thought the original saying was, &#8220;If you love something, set<br \/>\nit free.  If it doesn&#8217;t come back to you, it wasn&#8217;t yours to begin<br \/>\nwith.&#8221; However, for the purposes of this test, let&#8217;s use the proposed<br \/>\nversion. In which category do *you* fall?<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\">\n<p>The Old Version<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>If you love somebody, Set her free&#8230;<br \/>\nIf she comes back, she&#8217;s yours,<br \/>\nIf she doesn&#8217;t, she never was&#8230;.<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\">\n<p>The New Versions<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>Pessimist<br \/>\nIf you love somebody, Set her free &#8230;<br \/>\nIf she ever comes back, she&#8217;s yours,<br \/>\nIf she doesn&#8217;t, well, as expected, she never was.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Optimist<br \/>\nIf you love somebody, Set her free &#8230;<br \/>\nDon&#8217;t worry, she will come back.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Suspicious<br \/>\nIf you love somebody, Set her free &#8230;<br \/>\nIf she ever comes back, ask her why.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Impatient<br \/>\nIf you love somebody, Set her free &#8230;<br \/>\nIf she doesn&#8217;t comes back within some time forget her.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Patient<br \/>\nIf you love somebody, Set her free &#8230;<br \/>\nIf she doesn&#8217;t come back, continue to wait until she comes back &#8230;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Playful<br \/>\nIf you love somebody, Set her free &#8230;<br \/>\n* If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again,<br \/>\nrepeat *<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Vengeful<br \/>\nIf you love somebody, Set her free&#8230;<br \/>\nIf she doesn&#8217;t come back,<br \/>\nHunt her down and shoot her.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>C++ Programmer<br \/>\nif(you-love(m_she)) m_she.free()<br \/>\nif(m_she == NULL)<br \/>\nm_she= new CShe;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Animal-Rights Activist<br \/>\nIf you love somebody, Set her free&#8230;<br \/>\nIn fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Lawyers<br \/>\nIf you love somebody, Set her free&#8230;<br \/>\nClause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the<br \/>\nMatrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Bill Gates<br \/>\nIf you love somebody, Set her free&#8230;<br \/>\nIf she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees<br \/>\nand but tell her that she&#8217;s also going to get an upgrade.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Biologist<br \/>\nIf you love somebody, Set her free&#8230;<br \/>\nShe&#8217;ll evolve.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Statistician<br \/>\nIf you love somebody, Set her free&#8230;<br \/>\nIf she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high,<br \/>\nIf she doesn&#8217;t, your relation was improbable anyway.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Schwarzenegger Fan<br \/>\nIf you love somebody, Set her free&#8230;<br \/>\nSHE&#8217;LL BE BACK!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Overpossessive<br \/>\nIf you love somebody don&#8217;t set her free.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>HR Specialist<br \/>\nIf you love somebody set her free<br \/>\nBy Offering her VRS and other benefits, then outsource her.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>MBA<br \/>\nIf you love somebody set her free&#8230;<br \/>\ninstantaneously&#8230;and look for others simultaneously<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Psychologist<br \/>\nIf you love somebody set her free&#8230;<br \/>\nIf she comes back, her super ego is dominant<br \/>\nIf she doesn&#8217;t come, back her id is supreme<br \/>\nIf she doesn&#8217;t go, she must be crazy.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Somnambulist<br \/>\nIf you love somebody set her free&#8230;<br \/>\nIf she comes back, it&#8217;s a nightmare<br \/>\nIf she doesn&#8217;t, you must be dreaming.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Rhett Butler<br \/>\nIf you love somebody set YOURSELF FREE<br \/>\nIf she asks you why say you don&#8217;t give a damn.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>ERP Functional Expert<br \/>\nIf you love somebody set her free&#8230;<br \/>\nIf she comes back, map her into your system<br \/>\nIf she doesn&#8217;t, carry out a gap-fit analysis<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Finance Expert<br \/>\nIf you love somebody set her free&#8230;<br \/>\nIf she comes back, its time to look fresh loans.<br \/>\nIf she doesn&#8217;t, write her off as an asset gone bad.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Marketing Expert<br \/>\nIf you love somebody set her free&#8230;<br \/>\nIf she comes back, she has brand loyalty<br \/>\nIf she doesn&#8217;t, reposition the brand in new markets.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I always thought the original saying was, &#8220;If you love something, set it free. If it doesn&#8217;t come back to you, it wasn&#8217;t yours to begin with.&#8221; However, for the purposes of this test, let&#8217;s use the proposed version. In which category do *you* fall? The Old Version If you love somebody, Set her free&#8230; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[924,939],"class_list":["post-1304","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-lists","tag-love-somebody"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1304","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1304"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1304\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1304"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1304"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1304"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}