{"id":1302,"date":"2014-12-28T00:51:23","date_gmt":"2014-12-27T22:51:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1302"},"modified":"2014-12-28T00:51:23","modified_gmt":"2014-12-27T22:51:23","slug":"if-women-ruled-the-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1302","title":{"rendered":"If Women Ruled the World"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.<\/li>\n<li>Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.<\/li>\n<li>PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.<\/li>\n<li>Men would get reputations for sleeping around.<\/li>\n<li>Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.<\/li>\n<li>A man would no longer be considered a &#8220;good catch&#8221; simply because he is breathing.<\/li>\n<li>Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.<\/li>\n<li>Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Ms.&#8221; Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.<\/li>\n<li>Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.<\/li>\n<li>Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.<\/li>\n<li>Little girls would read &#8220;Snow White and the Seven Hunks.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.<\/li>\n<li>Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.<\/li>\n<li>Men would learn phrases like:  &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry,&#8221; &#8220;I love you,&#8221; &#8220;You&#8217;re beautiful,&#8221; &#8220;Of course you don&#8217;t look fat in that outfit.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.<\/li>\n<li>Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.<\/li>\n<li>All toilet seats would be nailed down.<\/li>\n<li>Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.<\/li>\n<li>TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.<\/li>\n<li>All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.<\/li>\n<li>During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19-year-olds.<\/li>\n<li>Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.<\/li>\n<li>After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.<\/li>\n<li>For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking. Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams. PMS would be a legitimate defense in court. Men would get reputations for sleeping around. Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets. A man would no longer [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[924,1278,1536],"class_list":["post-1302","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-women","tag-lists","tag-rule-the-world","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1302","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1302"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1302\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1302"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1302"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1302"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}