{"id":1292,"date":"2014-12-28T00:35:48","date_gmt":"2014-12-27T22:35:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1290"},"modified":"2014-12-28T00:35:48","modified_gmt":"2014-12-27T22:35:48","slug":"you-know-the-honeymoon-is-over-when","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1292","title":{"rendered":"You Know the Honeymoon Is Over When &#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Talking dirty in bed means shouting obscenities when he hogs the blanket.<\/li>\n<li>Chivalry&#8217;s as dead as the door he lets slam in your face.<\/li>\n<li>PMS lasts all month.<\/li>\n<li>Your jumbo box of absorbent maxi-pads is on open display.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Honey, what are you thinking?&#8221; is now &#8220;Are you finished yet?!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>He yawns when you bitch about that guy hitting on you at work.<\/li>\n<li>Dildos, S &#038;, menage &#8230; anything to break the monotony.<\/li>\n<li>You used to walk hand in hand, now you run to keep up.<\/li>\n<li>Those frilly, lacy, tiny panties have become way too uncomfortable.<\/li>\n<li>Two weeks no orgasm.<\/li>\n<li>Three weeks no orgasm &#8230; and you still don&#8217;t miss it.<\/li>\n<li>When he lends you five bucks, he expects it back.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;d rather spend quality time with your vibrator.<\/li>\n<li>The way he breathes is getting on your nerves.<\/li>\n<li>You let one rip in your sleep and don&#8217;t care if he hears.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Talking dirty in bed means shouting obscenities when he hogs the blanket. Chivalry&#8217;s as dead as the door he lets slam in your face. PMS lasts all month. Your jumbo box of absorbent maxi-pads is on open display. &#8220;Honey, what are you thinking?&#8221; is now &#8220;Are you finished yet?!&#8221; He yawns when you bitch about [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[803,924],"class_list":["post-1292","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-honeymoon-over","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1292","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1292"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1292\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1292"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1292"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1292"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}