{"id":1289,"date":"2014-12-28T00:29:49","date_gmt":"2014-12-27T22:29:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1284"},"modified":"2014-12-28T00:29:49","modified_gmt":"2014-12-27T22:29:49","slug":"henpecked-husbands","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1289","title":{"rendered":"Henpecked Husbands"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>He wears the pants in the house &#8211; under his apron.<\/li>\n<li>He has two chances of winning an argument with her, slim and none.<\/li>\n<li>She leads a double life &#8211; hers and his.<\/li>\n<li>He comes right out and says what she tells him to think.<\/li>\n<li>She does not have to raise the roof; all she has to do is raise an eyebrow.<\/li>\n<li>He always has the last word &#8211; he says, &#8220;I apologize.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>He was a man about town, she has turned him into a mouse around the house.<\/li>\n<li>The last big decision she let him make was whether to wash or to dry.<\/li>\n<li>He put a ring on her finger and she put one through his nose.<\/li>\n<li>He was a dude before marriage &#8211; now he is subdued.<\/li>\n<li>He married her for her looks, but not the kind he&#8217;s getting now.<\/li>\n<li>She lost her thumb in an accident and sued for $100,000, because it was the thumb she had him under.<\/li>\n<li>She even complains about the noise he makes, when he is fixing his own breakfast.<\/li>\n<li>He goes to a woman dentist &#8211; it&#8217;s a relief to be told to open his mouth instead of to shut it.<\/li>\n<li>Every once in awhile she comes to him on her bent knees. She dares him to come out from under the bed.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>He wears the pants in the house &#8211; under his apron. He has two chances of winning an argument with her, slim and none. She leads a double life &#8211; hers and his. He comes right out and says what she tells him to think. She does not have to raise the roof; all she [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[784,821,924],"class_list":["post-1289","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-women","tag-henpecked","tag-husband","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1289","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1289"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1289\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}