{"id":1266,"date":"2014-12-21T11:18:09","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T11:18:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=43"},"modified":"2014-12-21T11:18:09","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T11:18:09","slug":"on-aging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1266","title":{"rendered":"On Aging&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we&#8217;re kids? If you&#8217;re less than ten years old, you&#8217;re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;How old are you?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m four and a half.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;re never 36 and a half &#8230;.You&#8217;re four and a half going on 5.<\/p>\n<p>You get into your teens; now they can&#8217;t hold you back. You jump to the next number. &#8220;How old are you?&#8221; &#8220;I&#8217;m gonna be 16.&#8221; You could be 12, but you&#8217;re gonna be 16. Eventually.<\/p>\n<p>Then the great day of your life; you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. You BECOME 21&#8230;.Yes!!<\/p>\n<p>Then you turn 30. What happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. What&#8217;s wrong? What changed? You BECOME 21; you TURN 30.<\/p>\n<p>Then you&#8217;re PUSHING 40&#8230;.stay over there. You REACH 50.<\/p>\n<p>You BECOME 21; you TURN 30; You&#8217;re PUSHING 40; you REACH 50; then you MAKE IT to 60.<\/p>\n<p>By then you&#8217;ve built up so much speed, you HIT 70. After that, it&#8217;s a day by day  thing. You HIT Wednesday&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You get into your 80&#8217;s; you HIT lunch, you HIT 4:30. My Grandmother won&#8217;t even buy green bananas. &#8220;Well, it&#8217;s an investment, you know, and maybe a bad one.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And it doesn&#8217;t end there&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>Into the 90&#8217;s, you start going backwards. &#8220;I was JUST 92.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Then a strange thing happens; if you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. &#8220;I&#8217;m 100 and a half.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we&#8217;re kids? If you&#8217;re less than ten years old, you&#8217;re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. &#8220;How old are you?&#8221; &#8220;I&#8217;m four and a half.&#8221; You&#8217;re never 36 and a half &#8230;.You&#8217;re four and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[115,924,1094],"class_list":["post-1266","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aging","tag-aging","tag-lists","tag-old"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1266","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1266"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1266\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1266"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1266"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1266"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}