{"id":1217,"date":"2014-12-27T12:51:33","date_gmt":"2014-12-27T10:51:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1217"},"modified":"2014-12-27T12:51:33","modified_gmt":"2014-12-27T10:51:33","slug":"what-every-man-expects-in-a-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1217","title":{"rendered":"What Every Man Expects in a Wife"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>She will always be beautiful and cheerful.<\/li>\n<li>She could marry a movie star, but wants only you.<\/li>\n<li>She will have hair that never needs curlers or beauty shops.<\/li>\n<li>Her beauty won&#8217;t run in a rainstorm.<\/li>\n<li>She will never be sick&#8211;just allergic to jewelry and fur coats.<\/li>\n<li>She will insist that moving the furniture by herself, it&#8217;s good for her figure.<\/li>\n<li>She will be an expert in cooking, cleaning house, fixing the car or TV, painting the house, and keeping quiet.<\/li>\n<li>Her favorite hobbies will be mowing the lawn and shoveling snow. <\/li>\n<li>She will hate charge cards.<\/li>\n<li>Her favorite expression will be, &#8220;What can I do for you, Dear?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>She will think you have Einstein&#8217;s brain but look like Mr. America.<\/li>\n<li>She will wish you would go out with the boys so that she could get some sewing done. <\/li>\n<li>She will love you because you&#8217;re so sexy.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>She will always be beautiful and cheerful. She could marry a movie star, but wants only you. She will have hair that never needs curlers or beauty shops. Her beauty won&#8217;t run in a rainstorm. She will never be sick&#8211;just allergic to jewelry and fur coats. She will insist that moving the furniture by herself, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[621,1522],"class_list":["post-1217","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-men","tag-fantasy","tag-wife"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1217","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1217"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1217\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1217"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1217"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1217"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}