{"id":1207,"date":"2014-12-27T12:38:54","date_gmt":"2014-12-27T10:38:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1207"},"modified":"2014-12-27T12:38:54","modified_gmt":"2014-12-27T10:38:54","slug":"ways-to-drive-a-woman-crazy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1207","title":{"rendered":"Ways to Drive a Woman Crazy"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Call her by the dog&#8217;s name and then deny it.<\/li>\n<li>Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one on a totally  different subject.<\/li>\n<li>Superglue the commode seat in the up position.<\/li>\n<li>Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she thinks that she&#8217;s gaining weight, give her a condescending smile and say that you prefer her with some meat on her bones.<\/li>\n<li>Firmly refuse to ever ask for directions even if you find yourself in Georgia when your original destination was California.<\/li>\n<li>Call her by your mother&#8217;s name and then deny it.<\/li>\n<li>Start a conversation with the dog in the middle of one with her.<\/li>\n<li>Buy her power tools for Valentine&#8217;s Day.<\/li>\n<li>Never give her a straight answer.<\/li>\n<li>Take up yodelling and practice a lot.<\/li>\n<li>Quote Tim Allen to validate your position during arguments. (Argh! Argh! Argh!)<\/li>\n<li>Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery.<\/li>\n<li>Pretend you forgot how to speak English.<\/li>\n<li>Answer every question with &#8220;Yes, dear.&#8221; (Use with caution as PMS is a valid murder defense in many states.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Call her by the dog&#8217;s name and then deny it. Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one on a totally different subject. Superglue the commode seat in the up position. Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she thinks that she&#8217;s gaining weight, give her a condescending smile and say that you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[545,1536],"class_list":["post-1207","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-men","tag-drive-her-crazy","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1207","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1207"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1207\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1207"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1207"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1207"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}