{"id":1205,"date":"2014-12-27T12:35:58","date_gmt":"2014-12-27T10:35:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1205"},"modified":"2014-12-27T12:35:58","modified_gmt":"2014-12-27T10:35:58","slug":"the-downsides-to-buying-sperm-over-the-internet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1205","title":{"rendered":"The Downsides to Buying Sperm Over the Internet"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;To purchase our official applicator\/turkey baster for an additional $6.99, click here.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>After your purchase, you keep getting junk email with the subject &#8220;MAKE BABIES FAST!!!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Marketing Manager&#8221; keeps calling to offer &#8220;free home delivery.&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>Does the real Stephen Hawking even *have* an AOL account?<\/li>\n<li>All of the &#8220;product&#8221; originates from Mort, a middle-aged landfill manager who likes to login to the teenage girls chatroom as Buffy15.<\/li>\n<li>Donors from yahoo.com are just that.<\/li>\n<li>They send you a blue dress and tell you to start scraping.<\/li>\n<li>Greater than 75% chance of getting a Joke List contributor.<\/li>\n<li>No way to know if what you&#8217;re bidding on is new or refurbished.<\/li>\n<li>Unless you live in a city with an NBA franchise, nobody will believe you actually &#8220;hooked-up&#8221; with Shawn Kemp.<\/li>\n<li>No way to verify that Ernest Borgnine is indeed the donor.<\/li>\n<li>Now there&#8217;s a coincidence, mine also came with a presidential seal.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;To purchase our official applicator\/turkey baster for an additional $6.99, click here.&#8221; After your purchase, you keep getting junk email with the subject &#8220;MAKE BABIES FAST!!!&#8221; &#8220;Marketing Manager&#8221; keeps calling to offer &#8220;free home delivery.&#8221; Does the real Stephen Hawking even *have* an AOL account? All of the &#8220;product&#8221; originates from Mort, a middle-aged landfill [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[849,1348],"class_list":["post-1205","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-women","tag-internet","tag-sperm"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1205","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1205"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1205\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1205"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1205"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1205"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}