{"id":1190,"date":"2014-12-27T11:34:35","date_gmt":"2014-12-27T09:34:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1190"},"modified":"2014-12-27T11:34:35","modified_gmt":"2014-12-27T09:34:35","slug":"why-cookie-dough-is-better-than-men","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1190","title":{"rendered":"Why Cookie Dough is Better than Men"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>It&#8217;s enjoyable hard or soft.<\/li>\n<li>It makes a mess too, but it tastes better.<\/li>\n<li>It doesn&#8217;t mind if you take your anger out on it.<\/li>\n<li>You always want to swallow.<\/li>\n<li>It won&#8217;t complain if you share it with friends.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s &#8220;quick and convenient&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>You can enjoy it more than once.<\/li>\n<li>It comes already protectively wrapped.<\/li>\n<li>You can make it as large as you want.<\/li>\n<li>If you don&#8217;t finish it you can save it for later.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s easier to get the kind you want.<\/li>\n<li>You can comparison shop.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s easier to find in a grocery store.<\/li>\n<li>You can put it away when you&#8217;ve had enough.<\/li>\n<li>You know yours has never been eaten before.<\/li>\n<li>It won&#8217;t complain if you chew on it.<\/li>\n<li>It comes chocolate flavored.<\/li>\n<li>You always know when to get rid of it.<\/li>\n<li>You can return it&#8211;satisfaction is guaranteed.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s always ready to go.<\/li>\n<li>You won&#8217;t get arrested if you eat it in public.<\/li>\n<li>You don&#8217;t have to change the sheets if you eat it in bed.<\/li>\n<li>It won&#8217;t wake you up because it&#8217;s hard.<\/li>\n<li>You don&#8217;t have to find an excuse not to eat it.<\/li>\n<li>You can tell your friends how much you&#8217;ve eaten without sounding like you&#8217;re bragging.<\/li>\n<li>It won&#8217;t take up room in your bed.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s easy to pick up.<\/li>\n<li>You never have unwanted cookie dough chasing you around.<\/li>\n<li>You know what the extra weight is from.<\/li>\n<li>It won&#8217;t get jealous if you pick up another one.<\/li>\n<li>It never has an insecurity problem with its size.<\/li>\n<li>It is very pliable.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s enjoyable hard or soft. It makes a mess too, but it tastes better. It doesn&#8217;t mind if you take your anger out on it. You always want to swallow. It won&#8217;t complain if you share it with friends. It&#8217;s &#8220;quick and convenient&#8221;. You can enjoy it more than once. It comes already protectively wrapped. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[437,1536],"class_list":["post-1190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-women","tag-cookie-dough","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1190"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1190\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}