{"id":1184,"date":"2014-12-27T00:37:51","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T22:37:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1184"},"modified":"2014-12-27T00:37:51","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T22:37:51","slug":"comebacks-to-comebacks-to-those-one-liners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1184","title":{"rendered":"Comebacks to Comebacks to Those One-Liners"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>M: I know how to please a woman.<br \/>\nW: Then please leave me alone.<br \/>\nM: I guess you&#8217;re pretty good at pleasing yourself then.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>M: I want to give myself to you.<br \/>\nW: Sorry, I don&#8217;t accept cheap gifts.<br \/>\nM: Oh, just cheap perfume then.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>M: Your hair color is fabulous.<br \/>\nW: Thank you.  It&#8217;s on aisle three at the corner drug store.<br \/>\nM: Is that also where you got your eyelashes and colored contacts?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>M: You look like a dream.<br \/>\nW: Go back to sleep.<br \/>\nM: You mean this isn&#8217;t a nightmare?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>M: I can tell that you want me.<br \/>\nW: Yes, I want you to leave.<br \/>\nM: Well, I wasn&#8217;t planning on doing you HERE!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>M: Hey, baby, what&#8217;s your sign?<br \/>\nW: Do not enter.  -OR- Stop.<br \/>\nM: Really?  You look more like a &#8220;Yield.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>M: Your body is like a temple.<br \/>\nW: Sorry, there are no services today.<br \/>\nM: Here&#8217;s a donation to restore the exterior.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>M: Is this seat empty?<br \/>\nW: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.<br \/>\nM: [Looking away] Honey, there&#8217;s two here!<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>M: What&#8217;s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?<br \/>\nW: What&#8217;s it like being the biggest liar in the world?<br \/>\nM: You&#8217;re right.  I was lying.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>M: Haven&#8217;t I seen you someplace before?<br \/>\nW: Yeah, that&#8217;s why I don&#8217;t go there anymore.<br \/>\nM: Well, I guess you really don&#8217;t belong in the men&#8217;s room anyway.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>M: I know how to please a woman. W: Then please leave me alone. M: I guess you&#8217;re pretty good at pleasing yourself then. M: I want to give myself to you. W: Sorry, I don&#8217;t accept cheap gifts. M: Oh, just cheap perfume then. M: Your hair color is fabulous. W: Thank you. It&#8217;s [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[397,992],"class_list":["post-1184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-come-backs","tag-men-vs-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1184","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1184"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1184\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1184"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1184"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1184"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}