{"id":1172,"date":"2014-12-27T00:18:00","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T22:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1172"},"modified":"2014-12-27T00:18:00","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T22:18:00","slug":"when-you-are-caught","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1172","title":{"rendered":"When You Are Caught…"},"content":{"rendered":"

A personal guide to what men should say when caught looking at another woman by your wife\/girlfriend.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. I can’t believe that outfit she is wearing. (Said disdainfully)<\/li>\n
  2. Look at that guy… over there… behind the woman.<\/li>\n
  3. I think that’s a man dressed as a woman. (Incredulous)<\/li>\n
  4. Isn’t that the actress from the movie Delicatessen? (Chances are she hasn’t seen that movie- and neither have you, but you will get brownie points naming a foreign film, and it will be just obtuse enough to distract her.<\/li>\n
  5. I think that’s the girl I knew from high school who eventually joined a convent (or was committed to an asylum) and turned out to be a real nut case<\/li>\n
  6. Help me, I got something in my eye… can’t see a thing!<\/li>\n
  7. I was staring off into space because I was about to have an epiphany about the direction of my life and the nature of my love for you, but its gone now, thank you very much!<\/li>\n
  8. Hey that’s the loser I dumped in order to go out with you. Boy am I glad I ever got away from her. What a moron.<\/li>\n
  9. I know you’re probably thinking I was staring at a beautiful woman, but to me she is like one of those fancy bakery cakes that looks good, but then you have a bite and it is so sweet that it makes you sick. She makes me sick. (It helps if you convulse a little at the end here.. maybe it will camouflage your drool).<\/li>\n
  10. I was just thinking how I felt sorry for her – since she can never hold a candle to you (this one might only get you punched, but its worth a try).<\/li>\n
  11. Do you think she’s prettier than me? (Give her a taste of her own medicine)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    A personal guide to what men should say when caught looking at another woman by your wife\/girlfriend. I can’t believe that outfit she is wearing. (Said disdainfully) Look at that guy… over there… behind the woman. I think that’s a man dressed as a woman. (Incredulous) Isn’t that the actress from the movie Delicatessen? (Chances […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[337,656],"class_list":["post-1172","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-caught","tag-flirting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1172","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1172"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1172\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1172"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1172"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1172"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}