{"id":1144,"date":"2014-12-26T23:39:08","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T21:39:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1144"},"modified":"2014-12-26T23:39:08","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T21:39:08","slug":"basic-instructions-for-women-101","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1144","title":{"rendered":"Basic Instructions for Women 101"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t imagine that you can change a man unless he is in diapers<\/li>\n<li>What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.<\/li>\n<li>So many men &#8211; so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.<\/li>\n<li>If they put a man on the moon &#8211; why can&#8217;t they put them all there?<\/li>\n<li>Tell him you are not his type &#8211; you have a pulse.<\/li>\n<li>Never let your man&#8217;s mind wander &#8211; it is too little to be let out alone.<\/li>\n<li>Go for younger men &#8211; you might as well, they never mature anyway.<\/li>\n<li>Men are all the same &#8211; they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.<\/li>\n<li>Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.<\/li>\n<li>Women don&#8217;t make fools of men &#8211; most of them are the Do It Yourself types.<\/li>\n<li>The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest that they are too old for it.<\/li>\n<li>Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.<\/li>\n<li>If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.<\/li>\n<li>A man&#8217;s idea of serious commitment is usually &#8216;oh alright, I&#8217;ll stay the night.&#8217;<\/li>\n<li>Sadly, all men are created equal.<\/li>\n<li>Remember that a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his. <\/li>\n<li>The main point of having a boyfriend is so that he can one day graduate to the exalted status of &#8216;former boyfriend.&#8217;<\/li>\n<li>There are lots of words to describe men &#8211; strong, caring, loving &#8211; they&#8217;d be wrong but you can still use them.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don&#8217;t imagine that you can change a man unless he is in diapers What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. So many men &#8211; so many reasons not to sleep with any of them. If they put a man on [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[845],"class_list":["post-1144","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-women","tag-instructions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1144","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1144"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1144\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}