{"id":1135,"date":"2014-12-26T23:28:27","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T21:28:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1135"},"modified":"2014-12-26T23:28:27","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T21:28:27","slug":"signs-you-are-on-a-bad-date","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1135","title":{"rendered":"Signs You Are On a Bad Date"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Girls you know you&#8217;re on a bad date when:\n<ul>\n<li>You order a Double Whopper and he says, &#8220;Hey, my name ain&#8217;t Rockefeller, honey.&#8221;<\/li>\n<p><P><\/p>\n<li>You&#8217;ve never heard someone speak with such passion about an ant farm.<\/li>\n<p><P><\/p>\n<li>He seems to know an awful lot about your shower routine.<\/li>\n<p><P><\/p>\n<li>Your dinner reservations are under &#8220;Loser, party of 2&#8221;<\/li>\n<p><P><\/p>\n<li>He&#8217;s especially proud of how long he can sustain a burp.<\/li>\n<p><P><\/p>\n<li>He calls to tell you he&#8217;ll pick you up, just as soon as the stand off with the police is over.<\/li>\n<p><P><\/p>\n<li>He&#8217;s been on Geraldo once and Jerry Springer, twice.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr width=\"40%\" size=\"1\">\n<p><P><\/p>\n<li>Guys you know you&#8217;re on a bad date when:\n<ul>\n<li>She whispers to the waiter, &#8220;Please kill me.&#8221;<\/li>\n<p><P><\/p>\n<li>All she talks about is how great it is working for Heidi Fleiss.<\/li>\n<p><P><\/p>\n<li>You catch her giving her phone number to the guy cleaning your windshield.<\/li>\n<p><P><\/p>\n<li>She lunges at you several times with a steak knife.<\/li>\n<p><P><\/p>\n<li>She keeps calling you &#8220;Bachelor Number Two&#8221;.<\/li>\n<p><P><\/p>\n<li>&#8220;Whoa! Is it 8:15 already?&#8221;<\/li>\n<p><P><\/p>\n<li>She transitions the conversation by saying &#8220;I&#8217;ve said enough about me. What do you think about me?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Girls you know you&#8217;re on a bad date when: You order a Double Whopper and he says, &#8220;Hey, my name ain&#8217;t Rockefeller, honey.&#8221; You&#8217;ve never heard someone speak with such passion about an ant farm. He seems to know an awful lot about your shower routine. Your dinner reservations are under &#8220;Loser, party of 2&#8221; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[479,992],"class_list":["post-1135","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-dating","tag-men-vs-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1135","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1135"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1135\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1135"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1135"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1135"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}