{"id":1133,"date":"2014-12-26T23:23:07","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T21:23:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1133"},"modified":"2014-12-26T23:23:07","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T21:23:07","slug":"cards-to-send-when-the-relationship-goes-bad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1133","title":{"rendered":"Cards to Send When the Relationship Goes Bad"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>You were meant for me, perhaps as a punishment.<\/li>\n<li>When I met you, I thought about becoming a Satanist, but then I decided that worshipping you could give you the wrong idea about our relationship.<\/li>\n<li>I know how to push all my wife&#8217;s buttons&#8230;now if I could only find the one marked OFF!<\/li>\n<li>I must admit, you brought religion in my life. I never believed in hell &#8217;til I met you.<\/li>\n<li>Looking back over the years that we&#8217;ve been together, I can&#8217;t help but wonder: what the F@!% was I thinking?<\/li>\n<li>As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you&#8217;re not here to ruin it for me.<\/li>\n<li>They say that an attractive human body is worth a million dollars. Looks like someone robbed your ugly ass.<\/li>\n<li>When we were together, you always said you&#8217;d die for me. Now that we&#8217;ve broke up, I think it&#8217;s time you kept your promise.<\/li>\n<li>I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here&#8217;s his leash, water bowl and chew toys.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m so miserable without you, it&#8217;s almost like you&#8217;re here.<\/li>\n<li>When we first met I was anti-abortion. I&#8217;ve changed my mind.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You were meant for me, perhaps as a punishment. When I met you, I thought about becoming a Satanist, but then I decided that worshipping you could give you the wrong idea about our relationship. I know how to push all my wife&#8217;s buttons&#8230;now if I could only find the one marked OFF! I must [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[275,315,479],"class_list":["post-1133","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-breakup","tag-cards","tag-dating"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1133","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1133"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1133\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1133"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1133"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1133"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}