{"id":1126,"date":"2014-12-26T23:16:48","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T21:16:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1126"},"modified":"2014-12-26T23:16:48","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T21:16:48","slug":"a-womans-little-instruction-book","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1126","title":{"rendered":"A Woman&#8217;s Little Instruction Book"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>If you think the way to a man&#8217;s heart is through his stomach you&#8217;re aiming too high.<\/li>\n<li>Women don&#8217;t make fools of men &#8212; most of them are the do-it-yourself types.<\/li>\n<li>The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you&#8217;re sick of him.<\/li>\n<li>Never trust a man who says he&#8217;s the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.<\/li>\n<li>A woman&#8217;s work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.<\/li>\n<li>If you want a nice man go for a bald one &#8212; they try harder.<\/li>\n<li>Go for younger men. You might as well &#8212; they never mature anyway.<\/li>\n<li>A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Gump is unquestionably gay.<\/li>\n<li>Men are all the same &#8212; they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.<\/li>\n<li>Definition of a man with manners &#8212; he gets out of the bath to pee.<\/li>\n<li>Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he does.<\/li>\n<li>Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men &#8212; a woman.<\/li>\n<li>There are a lot of words you can use to describe men &#8212; strong, caring, loving &#8212; they&#8217;d be wrong but you can still use them.<\/li>\n<li>Men are like animals &#8212; messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but they make great pets.<\/li>\n<li>Men&#8217;s brains are like the prison system &#8212; not enough cells per man.<\/li>\n<li>There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men &#8211;  &#8220;don&#8217;t&#8221; and &#8220;stop&#8221; (unless they&#8217;re used together).<\/li>\n<li>Husbands are like children &#8212; they&#8217;re fine if they&#8217;re someone else&#8217;s.<\/li>\n<li>If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a day and he will be back to his usual self.<\/li>\n<li>All men are like chickens with their heads cut off when they see beautiful women pass by.<\/li>\n<li>If your man appears happy, excited and keeps looking at you all of a sudden he is probably checking out the women behind you.<\/li>\n<li>Figuring out men is like trying to make a jigsaw puzzle in a car. Once you think you have it all put together, you find another piece but you don&#8217;t know where it goes.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you think the way to a man&#8217;s heart is through his stomach you&#8217;re aiming too high. Women don&#8217;t make fools of men &#8212; most of them are the do-it-yourself types. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you&#8217;re sick of him. Never trust a man who says he&#8217;s the boss [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[1536],"class_list":["post-1126","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-women","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1126","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1126"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1126\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1126"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1126"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1126"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}