{"id":112,"date":"2014-12-21T13:20:33","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T13:20:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=112"},"modified":"2014-12-21T13:20:33","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T13:20:33","slug":"all-i-need-to-know-about-life-i-learned-from-santa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=112","title":{"rendered":"All I Need to Know About Life I Learned From Santa"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Encourage people to believe in you.<\/li>\n<li>Always remember who&#8217;s naughty and who&#8217;s nice.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t pout.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s as much fun to give as it is to receive.<\/li>\n<li>Some days it&#8217;s okay to feel a little chubby.<\/li>\n<li>Make your presents known.<\/li>\n<li>Always ask for a little bit more than what you really want.<\/li>\n<li>Bright red can make anyone look good.<\/li>\n<li>Wear a wide belt and no-one will notice how many pounds you&#8217;ve gained.<\/li>\n<li>If you only show up once a year, everyone will think you&#8217;re very important.<\/li>\n<li>Whenever you&#8217;re at a loss for words, say: &#8220;HO, HO, HO!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Encourage people to believe in you. Always remember who&#8217;s naughty and who&#8217;s nice. Don&#8217;t pout. It&#8217;s as much fun to give as it is to receive. Some days it&#8217;s okay to feel a little chubby. Make your presents known. Always ask for a little bit more than what you really want. Bright red can make [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[128,924,1282],"class_list":["post-112","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-i-need","tag-all-i-need","tag-lists","tag-santa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=112"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=112"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=112"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=112"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}