{"id":1114,"date":"2014-12-26T19:37:12","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T17:37:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1114"},"modified":"2014-12-26T19:37:12","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T17:37:12","slug":"ages-of-a-woman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1114","title":{"rendered":"Ages of a Woman"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Age 8:  Looks at herself and sees Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty.<\/li>\n<li>Age 15:  Looks at herself and sees Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Cheerleader or, if she is PMSing, sees Fat, Pimples, UGLY! (&#8220;But MOM!!! I can&#8217;t go to school today looking like THIS!&#8221;)<\/li>\n<li>Age 20:  Looks at herself and sees &#8220;Too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, hair too straight, hair too curly&#8221; but decides she is going anyway.<\/li>\n<li>Age 30:  Looks at herself and sees &#8220;too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, hair too straight, hair too curly&#8221; but decides she doesn&#8217;t have time to fix it, she is going anyway.<\/li>\n<li>Age 40:  Looks at herself and sees &#8220;too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, hair too straight, hair too curly&#8221; and says &#8220;At least I am clean&#8221; and goes anyway.<\/li>\n<li>Age 50:  Looks at herself and says, &#8220;I am.&#8221; and goes wherever she wants to go.<\/li>\n<li>Age 60:  Looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can&#8217;t even see themselves in the mirror anymore.  Goes out and conquers the world.<\/li>\n<li>Age 70:  Looks at herself and sees wisdom, laughter and ability.  Goes out and enjoys life.<\/li>\n<li>Age 80:  Doesn&#8217;t bother to look.  Just puts on a red hat and goes out to do anything she damn well pleases. (That is if she&#8217;s still physically capable of doing so.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Age 8: Looks at herself and sees Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. Age 15: Looks at herself and sees Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Cheerleader or, if she is PMSing, sees Fat, Pimples, UGLY! (&#8220;But MOM!!! I can&#8217;t go to school today looking like THIS!&#8221;) Age 20: Looks at herself and sees &#8220;Too fat, too thin, too short, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[114,924,1536],"class_list":["post-1114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-women","tag-ages","tag-lists","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1114","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1114"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1114\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}