{"id":1110,"date":"2014-12-26T19:32:05","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T17:32:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1110"},"modified":"2014-12-26T19:32:05","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T17:32:05","slug":"advice-from-men-to-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1110","title":{"rendered":"Advice from Men to Women"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Never buy a &#8216;new&#8217; brand of beer because &#8216;it was on sale.&#8217;<\/li>\n<li>If we&#8217;re in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn&#8217;t mean we&#8217;re not watching it.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t tell anyone we can&#8217;t afford a new car. Tell them we don&#8217;t want one.<\/li>\n<li>Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.<\/li>\n<li>Only wearing your new lingerie once does not send the message that you need more. It tells us lingerie is a bad investment.<\/li>\n<li>Please don&#8217;t drive when you&#8217;re not driving.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We&#8217;re just nodding, waiting for the punchline.<\/li>\n<li>The quarterback who just got pummeled isn&#8217;t trying to be brave. He&#8217;s just not crying. Big difference!<\/li>\n<li>When the waiter asks if everything&#8217;s okay, a simple &#8216;Yes&#8217; is fine.<\/li>\n<li>What do you mean, &#8216;leering?&#8217; She&#8217;s obstructing my view.<\/li>\n<li>When I&#8217;m turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, saying &#8216;Oh, this is our exit, Honey&#8217; is not really necessary.<\/li>\n<li>When you&#8217;re not around, I belch so loudly that I even appall myself.<\/li>\n<li>The temperature in the cave will be my responsibility. It will be slightly to moderately cooler than you want it.<\/li>\n<li>SportsCenter starts at 10:00 P.M. and runs one hour. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk to your sister.<\/li>\n<li>Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?<\/li>\n<li>If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?<\/li>\n<li>You probably don&#8217;t want to know what we&#8217;re thinking about.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s in neither your interest nor ours to take the Cosmo quiz together!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Never buy a &#8216;new&#8217; brand of beer because &#8216;it was on sale.&#8217; If we&#8217;re in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn&#8217;t mean we&#8217;re not watching it. Don&#8217;t tell anyone we can&#8217;t afford a new car. Tell them we don&#8217;t want one. Whenever possible please try to say whatever you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[109,1536],"class_list":["post-1110","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-advice","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1110","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1110"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1110\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1110"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1110"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1110"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}