{"id":1094,"date":"2014-12-26T19:04:21","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T17:04:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1094"},"modified":"2014-12-26T19:04:21","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T17:04:21","slug":"25-things-women-want-to-hear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1094","title":{"rendered":"25 Things Women Want To Hear"},"content":{"rendered":"
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  1. Gee, Sweetheart, let’s skip dinner tonight. The only thing I’m hungry for is you.<\/li>\n
  2. Wow, I just don’t know what to do with this money we won in the lottery, so why don’t you take it to the mall and see if you can find something to buy with it.<\/li>\n
  3. Hey, how about inviting your mother to spend the summer with us.<\/li>\n
  4. Oh, go ahead and eat that third piece of chocolate cream pie. If it’s one thing I hate it’s skinny women.<\/li>\n
  5. What luck, they had a special rental rate at the video store on romance movies.<\/li>\n
  6. How about I give you a nice massage and foot rub. I really don’t like sex that much anyway. (Huh?? – ^v^)<\/li>\n
  7. You know, that Pam Anderson just doesn’t seem to have the brain power that I find so attractive in a woman.<\/li>\n
  8. What a break, I won a prize on the radio station…. tickets to either the Super Bowl or the opening of the New York Ballet. I got first choice so pack your bags for New York, we get to go to the ballet!!!<\/li>\n
  9. Be careful Darling…don’t let it go too far down your throat.<\/li>\n
  10. Who wants to play golf when I can get to see how good the lawn looks when it’s freshly mowed. <\/li>\n
  11. While you’re up Sweetheart, can you get me a glass of water. I think I’ve had enough beer.<\/li>\n
  12. Shoot, there’s nothing on TV but football games. Let’s go furniture shopping. <\/li>\n
  13. There ought to be a law against those porno movies. Can you believe that there are guys that would actually want their wives to do those things they show? <\/li>\n
  14. Man I tell you, nothing feels better than getting all spruced up in a suit and tie.<\/li>\n
  15. I’m getting a little tired of steak on the grill. How about a nice quiche?<\/li>\n
  16. You know, I think I’d really prefer the four-door sedan to that impractical Corvette.<\/li>\n
  17. Look at that… disgusting. Why would she wear a short skirt like that with no panties?<\/li>\n
  18. Golly I think we’re lost. Let me find a gas station to ask for directions<\/li>\n

    . <\/p>\n

  19. My golf clubs are only 30 years old. Why don’t you use the money my parents gave us to get something nice for the house. <\/li>\n
  20. If the guys call and want me to go to that new strip club with them, tell them I’m busy. I really want to get the living room painted tonight. <\/li>\n
  21. You know Sweetheart, I’m really glad you don’t like doing all those dirty things they write about in those stupid sex advice columns. <\/li>\n
  22. Sports cars are just such stupid little toys for men who have never really grown up.<\/li>\n
  23. If you’re looking for me later, I’ll be over there looking at the home decorating magazines. <\/li>\n
  24. You know, we really don’t visit your relatives enough.<\/li>\n
  25. Why don’t you relax this weekend. I’ll take care of the cooking and housework.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Gee, Sweetheart, let’s skip dinner tonight. The only thing I’m hungry for is you. Wow, I just don’t know what to do with this money we won in the lottery, so why don’t you take it to the mall and see if you can find something to buy with it. Hey, how about inviting your […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[621,773,924,1536],"class_list":["post-1094","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-fantasy","tag-hear","tag-lists","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1094","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1094"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1094\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1094"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1094"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1094"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}