{"id":1092,"date":"2014-12-26T19:02:22","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T17:02:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1092"},"modified":"2014-12-26T19:02:22","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T17:02:22","slug":"rejection-lines-given-by-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1092","title":{"rendered":"Rejection Lines Given By Women"},"content":{"rendered":"<p align=\"center\">(and the translation of what they mean!)<\/p>\n<ul>\n<p><li>I think of you as a brother.<br \/>\n(You remind me of that inbred banjo geek in &#8220;Deliverance.&#8221;)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>There&#8217;s a slight difference in our ages.<br \/>\n(I don&#8217;t want to do my DAD.)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>I&#8217;m not attracted to you in &#8216;that&#8217; way.<br \/>\n(You ugly dork.)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>My life is too complicated right now.<br \/>\n(I don&#8217;t want you spending the night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I&#8217;m seeing.)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>I&#8217;ve got a boyfriend.<br \/>\n(I prefer my male cat and 1\/2 gallon Ben &amp; Jerry&#8217;s ice cream.)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>I don&#8217;t date men where I work.<br \/>\n(I wouldn&#8217;t date you if you&#8217;re in the same *solar system*, much less the same building.)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>It&#8217;s not you, it&#8217;s me.<br \/>\n(It&#8217;s you.)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>I&#8217;m concentrating on my career.<br \/>\n(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>I&#8217;m celibate.<br \/>\n(I&#8217;ve sworn off the likes of you or I&#8217;d rather be gang raped by midgets or I&#8217;d rather drink turpentine and piss on a brush fire or when bats fly out of my butt.)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Let&#8217;s be friends.<br \/>\n(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.)<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(and the translation of what they mean!) I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo geek in &#8220;Deliverance.&#8221;) There&#8217;s a slight difference in our ages. (I don&#8217;t want to do my DAD.) I&#8217;m not attracted to you in &#8216;that&#8217; way. (You ugly dork.) My life is too complicated right [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[1244,1536],"class_list":["post-1092","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-men-vs-womendating","tag-rejection-lines","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1092","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1092"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1092\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1092"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1092"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1092"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}