{"id":1066,"date":"2014-12-26T18:31:56","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T16:31:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1066"},"modified":"2014-12-26T18:31:56","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T16:31:56","slug":"prison-pick-up-lines","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1066","title":{"rendered":"Prison Pick-Up Lines"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Interested in serving HARD time?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Damn, you are sexy in stripes.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Don&#8217;t you prefer dropping bar soap instead of that liquid crap?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Is that a zip-gun carefully carved out of a piece of discarded metal found on the floor of the prison license-plate manufacturing shop in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You know, normally I don&#8217;t give in the first 30 seconds, but I guess I&#8217;m a sucker for sheer muscle mass.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Nice teeth. They&#8217;d look so much better on my the floor of my cell.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Who wants to marry a multiple murderer?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I&#8217;ve been watching you from across the yard for awhile now, and I knew if I didn&#8217;t work up the courage to just walk over here and ask you to be my bitch, I might regret it for the rest of my life.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Due to a recent execution, I now have an opening for my prison bitch.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Bread, water or me?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Stop by my cell later for a Lethal Injection.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Hold still while I staple this centerfold to the back of your head.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Did you order the Soap Drop soup?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;That orange jumpsuit really brings out the red in your freshly-healed knife wound.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Cinemax3 is doing another one of those Women In Prison movies soon&#8230;Wanna audition in my cell?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Wanna attend a chain gang bang?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Care to give Prisoner Johnson a weekend furlough?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You&#8217;re new here&#8230; let me debrief you and introduce you to the penal system.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You look even better in person than you did on America&#8217;s Most Wanted.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;If looks could kill, you&#8217;d get 25 to life.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You&#8217;re getting your GED&#8230; wow, that makes me so H.O.T.!!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Is your name &#8216;Escape Tunnel&#8217;?  Because I&#8217;ve been digging you all night.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Interested in serving HARD time?&#8221; &#8220;Damn, you are sexy in stripes.&#8221; &#8220;Don&#8217;t you prefer dropping bar soap instead of that liquid crap?&#8221; &#8220;Is that a zip-gun carefully carved out of a piece of discarded metal found on the floor of the prison license-plate manufacturing shop in your pocket, or are you just glad to see [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[924,1165,1196],"class_list":["post-1066","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-copsrobbers","tag-lists","tag-pickup-lines","tag-prison"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1066","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1066"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1066\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1066"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1066"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1066"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}