{"id":1044,"date":"2014-12-26T18:03:41","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T16:03:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1044"},"modified":"2014-12-26T18:03:41","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T16:03:41","slug":"funny-police-quotes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1044","title":{"rendered":"Funny Police Quotes"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;The handcuffs are tight because they&#8217;re new. They&#8217;ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;If you run, you&#8217;ll only go to jail tired.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;So, you don&#8217;t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don&#8217;t think it will help.  Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Warning! You want a warning?  O.K., I&#8217;m warning you not to do that again or I&#8217;ll give you another ticket.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.  Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Life&#8217;s tough, it&#8217;s tougher if you&#8217;re stupid.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;No sir, we don&#8217;t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we&#8217;re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Just how big were those two beers?<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;In God we trust, all others are suspects.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;The handcuffs are tight because they&#8217;re new. They&#8217;ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.&#8221; &#8220;If you run, you&#8217;ll only go to jail tired.&#8221; &#8220;So, you don&#8217;t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?&#8221; &#8220;Yes sir, you can talk to the shift [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[440,924],"class_list":["post-1044","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-copsrobbers","tag-cops","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1044","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1044"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1044\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1044"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1044"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1044"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}