{"id":1038,"date":"2014-12-26T17:59:13","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T15:59:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1038"},"modified":"2014-12-26T17:59:13","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T15:59:13","slug":"the-dyslexic-cop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1038","title":{"rendered":"The Dyslexic Cop"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A dyslexic cop is severely reprimanded by his captain because the spelling on his police reports is incomprehensible. &#8220;How can you expect anyone to read this! If you file just one more report with any and I mean *ANY* words misspelled, you are going on report!&#8221; screams the captain.<\/p>\n<p>The cop vows not to make any more mistakes. The next day he is in his patrol car when a report of a traffic accident comes over his two way radio. He arrives on the scene to discover a grisly head-on collision. The cop takes out his notebook and begins to write, taking care to spell each word correctly.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;One, O-N-E. Ford, F-O-R-D. In the ditch, D-I-T-C-H.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s good,&#8221; thinks the cop as he walks across the street to the other vehicle.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;One, O-N-E. Dodge, D-O-D-G-E. In the ditch, D-I-T-C-H.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I am doing great!&#8221; says the cop out loud as he confidently walks to the middle of the highway, where he discovers a decapitated head.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;One, O-N-E. Head, H-E-A-D. In the boulevard, B-O-L &#8230; B-L-U &#8230;B-O-L-L &#8230; B-I-L &#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Finally, the frustrated cop looks around, then kicks the head with his boot, and writes, &#8220;One head in the D-I-T-C-H.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A dyslexic cop is severely reprimanded by his captain because the spelling on his police reports is incomprehensible. &#8220;How can you expect anyone to read this! If you file just one more report with any and I mean *ANY* words misspelled, you are going on report!&#8221; screams the captain. The cop vows not to make [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[440,559],"class_list":["post-1038","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-copsrobbers","tag-cops","tag-dyslexic"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1038","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1038"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1038\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1038"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1038"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1038"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}