{"id":1032,"date":"2014-12-26T17:52:26","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T15:52:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1032"},"modified":"2014-12-26T17:52:26","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T15:52:26","slug":"what-is-said-versus-what-is-meant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1032","title":{"rendered":"What is Said Versus What is Meant"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>While on routine patrol&#8230;<br \/>\nI was in the car because the coffee shop was closed.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>The motorist was operating his vehicle in a reckless manner<br \/>\nHe had a bumper sticker that said &#8220;SLOW DOWN-DON&#8217;T FEED THE PIGS&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>The accident scene and the safety of the victims prevented this officer from doing traffic control.<br \/>\nIt was raining.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>This officer went out-of-service to obtain intelligence information from a street informant.<br \/>\nIt was too hot to ride in the car.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>I observed the suspect acting in a suspicious manner&#8230;<br \/>\nThe dirt-bag let go with an &#8220;Oink&#8221; as I walked by.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Knowing the suspect had a criminal history&#8230;<br \/>\nHe puked on my uniform one night&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>The informant is of known credibility and has provided reliable information in the past&#8230;<br \/>\nI&#8217;ve got two theft cases hanging over his head&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>While being arrested, this subject resisted being injured in the act&#8230;<br \/>\nHe ripped my shirt and broke my new mirror sunglasses&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>The motorist was cited for multiple traffic violations&#8230;<br \/>\nI wrote one citation for each swear-word he used&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Upon announcing my title and purpose, I heard a voice from inside the house say &#8220;Come in&#8221; so this writer entered through the door&#8230;<br \/>\nThe rock music was so loud they wouldn&#8217;t have heard Patton&#8217;s army so I kicked in the door.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>The members of the press at the scene were offered every courtesy within departmental policies&#8230;<br \/>\nI sent then to a nonexistent address which I called the &#8220;Command Post&#8221;.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>I gave the motorist a verbal warning for speeding&#8230;<br \/>\nShe was a good-looking blonde who owned a liquor store and who was free after my shift was over.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>The Chief appeared at the scene and took command&#8230;<br \/>\nI sent him to the same address as the reporters.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Further interview of the witness was impossible, due to conditions.<br \/>\nIt was my bowling night&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>The motorist eyes were glassy, he had slurred speech , was unsteady on his feet, and smelled strongly of an alcoholic beverage.<br \/>\nHe was howling at the moon and trying to drive the car from the back seat.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Using only enough force to restrain the subject&#8230;<br \/>\nMy favorite song is &#8220;Drop-kick me Jesus Through the Goal Post of Life&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>The defendant asked this officer&#8217;s advice on how to act before the judge at his arraignment&#8230;<br \/>\nI told him he didn&#8217;t have the balls to call the judge the same name he called me.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>While on routine patrol&#8230; I was in the car because the coffee shop was closed. The motorist was operating his vehicle in a reckless manner He had a bumper sticker that said &#8220;SLOW DOWN-DON&#8217;T FEED THE PIGS&#8221; The accident scene and the safety of the victims prevented this officer from doing traffic control. It was [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[440,924],"class_list":["post-1032","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-copsrobbers","tag-cops","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1032","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1032"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1032\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1032"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1032"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1032"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}