{"id":1004,"date":"2014-12-26T17:14:04","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T15:14:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=1004"},"modified":"2014-12-26T17:14:04","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T15:14:04","slug":"12-things-not-to-say-to-a-cop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=1004","title":{"rendered":"12 Things Not to Say to a Cop"},"content":{"rendered":"<ol>\n<li>I can&#8217;t reach my license unless you hold my beer.<\/li>\n<li>Sorry, Officer, I didn&#8217;t realize my radar detector wasn&#8217;t plugged in.<\/li>\n<li>Aren&#8217;t you the guy from the Village People?<\/li>\n<li>Hey, you must&#8217;ve been doin&#8217; about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!<\/li>\n<li>Are you Andy or Barney?<\/li>\n<li>I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re not gonna check the trunk are you?<\/li>\n<li>I pay your salary!<\/li>\n<li>Gee, Officer! That&#8217;s terrific.  The last officer only gave me a warning too!<\/li>\n<li>Do you know why you pulled me over?  Okay, just so one of us does.<\/li>\n<li>I was trying to keep up with traffic.  Yes, I know there are no other cars around.  That&#8217;s how far ahead of me they are.<\/li>\n<li>When the Officer says &#8220;Gee Son&#8230;Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?&#8221;,  you probably shouldn&#8217;t respond with, &#8220;Gee Officer your eyes looked glazed, have you been eating donuts?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I can&#8217;t reach my license unless you hold my beer. Sorry, Officer, I didn&#8217;t realize my radar detector wasn&#8217;t plugged in. Aren&#8217;t you the guy from the Village People? Hey, you must&#8217;ve been doin&#8217; about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! Are you Andy or Barney? I thought you had to be [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[440,924,1455],"class_list":["post-1004","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-copsrobbers","tag-cops","tag-lists","tag-traffic-stop"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1004","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1004"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1004\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1004"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1004"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1004"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}