Because

The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Bush. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, “You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America.”

President Bush says “Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do.”

The Saudi whispers “My son watches this show ‘Star Trek’ and in it there are Russians, and Blacks, and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn’t understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek.”

President Bush laughs and leans toward the Saudi, and whispers back, “It’s because it takes place in the future….”

If Dr. Seuss Wrote For Star Trek: the Next Generation

By Dave Fuller

Picard: Sigma Indri, that’s the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?

Data: Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We’ll have two days ’til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?

Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine.

LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline!

Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!

Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can’t,
We can’t, we mustn’t, and we shan’t,
The danger here is far too great!

Picard: But surely we must not be late!

Troi: I’m sensing anger and great ire.

Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship’s on fire!

Picard: The ship’s on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?

Riker: Not me…

Worf: Not me!

Picard: Computer, how long ’til we die?

Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye.

Data: May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems…

Geordi: Hurray! Hurray! You’ve saved the day!
Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!

Picard: Mr. Data, thank you much.
You’ve saved our lives, our ship, and such.

Troi: We still must save the Indran planet —

Data: Which (by the way) is made of granite…

Picard: Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand — we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please make it so, PLEASE make it so.

Geordi: There’s sabotage among the wires
And that’s what started all the fires.

Riker: We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!

Troi: We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him why?

Worf: Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.

Troi: Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they’ve been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We haven’t even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?

Crusher: Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, “Help us, clothe us, feed us!”
I can’t just sit and let them die!
A doctor MUST attempt — MUST try!

Picard: Doctor, please, we’ll get there soon.

Crusher: They may be dead by Tuesday noon.

* COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK *

* HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE? *

Worf: The saboteur is in the brig.
He’s very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun —
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall,
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form
All soft and purple, round and warm.

Picard: Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?

Worf: I did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit him on the jaw — quite squarely.

Riker: My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end!

Crusher: Now let’s get our ship to fly
And orbit yonder Indran sky!

Picard: LaForge, please tell me we can go—

Geordi: Yes, sir, we can…

Picard: Then make it so!

All I Need To Know About Life I Learned From Star Trek

  • Seek out new life and new civilizations.
  • Non-interference is the prime directive.
  • Keep your phaser set on stun.
  • Humans are highly illogical.
  • Having a thing is not so pleasing as wanting: it is not logical, but it is often true.
  • Tribbles hate Klingons (and Klingons hate Tribbles).
  • Enemies are often invisible, like Klingons, they can be cloaked.
  • There’s no such thing as a Vulcan death grip.
  • Live long and prosper.
  • Infinite Diversity and Infinite Combinations (IDIC).
  • Don’t put all your ranking officers in one shuttlecraft.
  • When your logic fails, trust a hunch.
  • Insufficient data does not compute.
  • If it can’t be fixed, ask Scotty.
  • Even in our own world sometimes we are aliens.
  • When going out into the universe “BOLDLY GO WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE.”