At a red light today, my friend and I were in danger of being cooked alive by the sonic energy of the sound waves from the radio in the car next to us.

The car was being driven by a couple of brothas who were, shall we say, “Rap-Enhanced.” They were having a rather animated conversation with some otha brotha in the *next* car over. Because of the volume of the radios involved, it was difficult to make out their conversations, but I gathered each party was pleased to have truck driving moms as they talked incessantly about those motha truckas with each sentence.

My friend turned to me and asked if Columbus had any gangs. I honestly don’t know, but I assumed all big cities had gangs. But I got to thinking about it. I know Los Angeles has the Crips and Bloods and that those gangs have gone beyond LA. But, how do they *do* that? Do each of these gangs have some sort of “Franchise Department”? Somebody who comes to a new “territory” and lays out the rules, collects a franchise fee, and tells the new “manager” how many people they’re expected to kill to meet this month’s quota?

Do gang members get sick time? Paid time off? Incentives based on the number of drive by shootings? Is there some formula to base commissions on the number of “caps popped in asses”?

What about non-competes? What if one morning you wake up and say, “I’m not pleased with the management structure of the Crip Corporation and I believe my talents would best be utilized with Blood Business, Inc.”? Surely there’d be a non-disclosure clause at the very least. I can’t imagine the Crips would, as an organization, like the Bloods to know where all of their trucking moms are.