What follows are REAL excuses from drivers when asked to sum up their accident in the fewest words possible:
- The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran him over.
- I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
- The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
- The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
- I collided with a stationary truck which was coming the other way.
- A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.
- My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
- I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
- A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
- In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work.
She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation.
She finally remembered her daddy’s advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in the snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.
After quite some time had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time.
She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy’s advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.
The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted but he was done with the Walmart parking lot and was going over to K-Mart next.