Corporate America’s Recreational Activities

After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation has determined the following results on Corporate America’s recreational activities.

  • The sport of choice for unemployed or jailed people is BASKETBALL.
  • The sport of choice for maintenance employees is BOWLING.
  • The sport of choice for line workers is FOOTBALL.
  • The sport of choice for Supervisors is BASEBALL.
  • The sport of choice for Middle Management is TENNIS.
  • And finally, the sport of choice for Upper Management is GOLF.

That the higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

Understanding Corporate Speak

  • Essentially complete
    It’s half done.
  • We predict …
    We hope to God!
  • Risk is high, but within acceptable ranges of risk:
    100:1 odds, or with 10 times over budget using 10 times the people we said we’d employ.
  • Potential show stopper
    The team has updated their resumes.
  • Serious but not insurmountable problems
    It’ll take a miracle …
  • Basic agreement has been reached
    The @##$%%’s won’t even talk to us.
  • Results are being quantified
    We’re massaging the numbers so they will agree with our conclusions.
  • Task force to review
    Seven people who are incompetent at their regular jobs have been loaned to the project.
  • Not well defined at this time
    Nobody’s even thought about it.
  • Still analyzing the requirements
    See previous answer.

  • Not well understood
    Now that we’ve thought about it, we don’t want to think about it anymore.
  • Requires further analysis and management attention
    Totally out of control!
  • Results are promising
    Turned power on and no smoke detected — this time…