Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:

• To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1
• To make excuses for why your child did not do his work – Press 2
• To complain about what we do – Press 3
• To cuss out staff members – Press 4
• To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you – Press 5
• If you want us to raise your child – Press 6
• If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7
• To request another teacher for the third time this year – Press 8
• To complain about bus transportation – Press 9
• To complain about school lunches – Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable/ responsible for his/ her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it’s not the teachers fault for your child(ren)’s lack of effort, hang up and have a nice day!