Things to Think About

  • If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
  • If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
  • If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philip’s screwdriver?
  • If a pig loses it’s voice, is it disgruntled?
  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  • When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
  • Why is the man who invest all your money called a broker?
  • Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.
  • When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
  • Why is a person who plays the piano call a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
  • Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite things?
  • If horrific mean to make horrible, doesn’t terrific mean to make terrible?
  • Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety-one?
  • “I am.” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
  • Could it be that “I do.” is the longest sentence?
  • If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
  • Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as 4’s?
  • Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint, you will have to touch it to be sure?