My Wife

So here I sit, in all my glory…
Lend me an ear, and I’ll tell ya a story…
I once had a wife–she was such a dear,
Then came the Net, and it all disappeared!

Now there she sits, for hours on end…
don’t care where I’m goin’, don’t care where I’ve been.
It could be three, or it could be nine…
she really doesn’t care, long as she’s online.

She gets outta work and rushes home,
She comes in yelling at me, “Get off the phone!”
Where is the hug? Where is my kiss?
But she’s at the computer–that’s all she missed!

Talking to cyber friends, checking the mail
I might as well be in a Cyber Jail!
My stomach’s growling–it’s so unfair!
No clean dishes and no clean underwear!

Drink me a beer, stare at the walls
I’ll pick at my teeth and roam the halls,
Farting and burping what a sight to see…
Can you believe she’s there?? When she could be with ME!!