A Loose Guide on Exercising

  • It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at 85 years old, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.
  • My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.
  • I joined a health club last year, spent about $400. Have not lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up.
  • I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I am doing.
  • I figure if God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up on our body.
  • I have flabby thighs, fortunately my stomach covers them.
  • The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
  • If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.