- Contractor
A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal.
- Bid Opening
A poker game in which the losing hand wins.
- Bid
A wild guess carried out to two decimal places.
- Low Bidder
A contractor who is wondering what he left out of his bid.
- Engineer’s Estimate
The cost of construction in heaven.
- Project Manager
The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union.
- Critical Path Method
A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect control.
- OSHA
A protective coating made by half-baking a mixture of fine print, red tape, split hairs and baloney; usually applied at random with a shotgun.
- Strike
An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken.
- Delayed Payment
A tourniquet applied at the pockets.
- Completion Date
The point at which liquidated damages begin.
- Liquidated Damages
A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.
- Auditor
Person who goes in after the war is lost to bayonet the wounded.
- Lawyer
Person who goes in after the auditors to strip the bodies.
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