Fractured Dictionary

  • Arbitrator ar’-bi-tray-ter:
    A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s
  • Avoidable uh-voy’-duh-buhl:
    What a bullfighter tries to do
  • Baloney buh-lo’-nee:
    Where some hemlines fall
  • Bernadette burn’-a-det:
    The act of torching a mortgage
  • Burglarize bur’-gler-ize:
    What a crook sees with
  • Control kon-trol’:
    A short, ugly inmate
  • Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers:
    Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
  • Eclipse i-klips’:
    what an English barber does for a living
  • Eyedropper i’-drop-ur:
    a clumsy ophthalmologist
  • Heroes hee’-rhos:
    what a guy in a boat does
  • Left Bank left’ bangk’:
    what the robber did when his bag was full of loot
  • Misty mis’-tee:
    How golfers create divots
  • Paradox par’-uh-doks:
    two physicians
  • Parasites par’-uh-sites:
    what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
  • Pharmacist farm’-uh-sist:
    a helper on the farm
  • Polarize po’-lur-ize:
    what penguins see with
  • Primate pri’-mat:
    removing your spouse from in front of the TV
  • Relief ree-leef’:
    what trees do in the spring
  • Rubberneck rub’-er-nek:
    what you do to relax your wife
  • Seamstress seem’-stres:
    describes 250 pounds in a size six
  • Selfish sel’-fish:
    what the owner of a seafood store does
  • Subdued sub-dood’:
    like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man
  • Sudafed sood’-a-fed:
    bringing litigation against a government official